dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
