Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Send help, water and tortillas.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize