Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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