Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Randomize
