You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
