i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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