This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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