all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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