what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
