i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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