I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
