If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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