I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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