Nicole vs. Life
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
