i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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