her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize