Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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