I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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