That's intense
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
