I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
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His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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