u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
