doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
