Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
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Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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