you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
