Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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