found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
