I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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