Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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