he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
