She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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