Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
