His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
