I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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