the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
