I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
