Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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