he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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