Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
