That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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