Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
