You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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