Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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