I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
