if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
