i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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