Where is the hickey?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
