needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
