I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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