He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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