dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
