i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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