Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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