I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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