respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
