I have demons in me.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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