hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
