and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
