You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
