sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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