Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
