My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
