what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize
