So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
