A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
