4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
