Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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