one might say we're banned from that church
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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