You work out of a Hotel?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
