..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Do vagina's smell?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
